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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23448061">the neglected garden</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Magical Realism, Marriage Proposal, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Morning Sex, NOT angsty it's more hopeful, Pool Sex, Rebuilding, Relationship Study, Switching, they unofficially adopt a kid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:00:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,623</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23448061</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yeosang is a comfortable weight beside San as his mind drifts underneath the lazy rise of the sun and wind rustling through the trees. Yeosang murmurs, “Do you remember how we wanted to be teachers?”</p><p>“God,” San laughs. Yeosang nudges him playfully with his shoulder. “You really remember that?”</p><p>(Rebuilding after years of destruction is understandably hard. San has a three-step plan to tackle this pseudo-predicament: build a school, adopt a kid, and marry the love of his life—not necessarily in that order, of course.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi San/Kang Yeosang, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>130</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the neglected garden</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>alright, sort-of-long author's note incoming—</p><p>two poems that influenced this:<br/>1. <a href="https://www.consolatio.com/2007/02/neruda_when_i_d.html">when i die, i want your hands on my eyes</a>, pablo neruda<br/>2. <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/18078916-sea-canes-by-derek-walcott-april-11-2016">sea canes</a>, derek walcott</p><p>there's a motif of a song from <em>the secret world of arrietty's</em> soundtrack—you can listen to the neglected garden <a href="https://soundcloud.com/biyao162/01-the-neglected-garden">here</a>! i would really recommend it as it encompasses the feel i wanted for the fic and it's what i mainly listened to while writing TT</p><p>other songs:<br/><a>can't we just leave the monsters alive</a> - txt<br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ31pyTZdh0">sweet</a> - cigarettes after sex</p><p> </p><p>also, by no means is this a realistic post-apocalypse universe (in fact, the reason for the world ending isn't really touched upon, since that would require a lot of worldbuilding and isn't exactly the point of this fic—but you may ask if you're curious!). seonghwa and hongjoong are older, though it's heavily hinted upon that they aren't fully human. there are also, like... seven or so kids in this fic, all of them ocs even if they take idol names/you relate to them as such which isn't intentional lmao but feel free if you'd like? but either way, enjoy!! this was really fun to write and allowed me to explore an interesting style!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>The sun’s started to rise by the time Yeosang steps out of the cottage and onto the porch. It lights the skies up in hues of oranges and pinks against the dark of night and makes Yeosang’s skin glow with warmth when San looks up at him. Although, he notes, Yeosang seems to be glowing naturally more and more these days.</p><p>“How long have you been awake?” He asks curiously.</p><p>“I don’t know,” San admits truthfully. “I woke up to write a letter to Hongjoong and couldn’t go back to sleep.”</p><p>Yeosang hums. “Want some tea?”</p><p>“Of course, but you don’t have to,” San says. Yeosang yawns and steps back inside by way of reply, and San rolls his eyes.</p><p>The early morning chill makes him shiver but it isn’t necessarily uncomfortable. It’s almost nice to know he can still experience life in the little things as he listens to birds chirping from the forest they live by. To know that he is just as alive as the scenery surrounding him is… always an overwhelming thought, for some reason.</p><p>Yeosang steps back out, fully equipped with two cups of herbal tea that San gratefully accepts. He nudges at San’s leg with a foot for him to move and makes himself comfortable when San scoots over, letting San sling an arm over his shoulders to tug him in closer. “Hongjoong really still isn’t back?”</p><p>“Nope,” San sighs. “But I’m not too worried about him. If he made it through all these years, then straying a little too far won’t hurt him. But Seonghwa—”</p><p>“He’s worried sick, isn’t he,” Yeosang murmurs, tucking his head into San’s neck and taking a sip of his mint-scented tea. His golden-brown hair tickles at his throat and San snuggles closer, indulging in the warmth. “I can’t blame him.”</p><p>“No one can,” San agrees. “I have faith in him, though.”</p><p>“Hm, me too,” Yeosang says sleepily.</p><p>He draws his legs up to fold them over the rest of the chair, leaning on San’s weight fully, and San laughs as he kisses Yeosang’s forehead. “Sleepy?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Yeosang mutters. “Woke up and you weren’t there, so.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” San says, genuinely apologetic. He thinks they’re both so weirdly conditioned to sleeping next to each other now that whenever one wakes up and the other isn’t there, it’s nearly impossible to go back to sleep. A survival instinct of sorts, perhaps, even though they don’t really need to keep their guard up now. But it’s impossible to let go of, because old habits die painfully hard, and it’s a sad testament to whatever they’ve both seen and gone through that he feels less skittish with Yeosang right next to him than otherwise. “I got distracted.”</p><p>Yeosang snorts. “You don’t have to apologize, San. I don’t mind.”</p><p>San pouts as he watches a leaf fall from a tree, even though it’s springtime. “Aw, but still.”</p><p>“Come back to bed with me later if you’re so sorry, then,” he says. His voice is deep and hoarse from sleep, and the way he says it makes San want to explode for a brief second, even though that isn’t the context he likely meant it in. </p><p>“Okay!” San says brightly, and then—“Love you.”</p><p>Yeosang sniffs in that haughty way of his. “Love you too, I guess.”</p><p>San swats at his shoulder lightly and laughs when Yeosang grins and turns his face up to press a light kiss to his jaw that sends San’s heart fluttering. </p><p>And then they’re silent for a few comfortable moments. Yeosang’s breathing is steady and calm as he closes his eyes, and San turns his attention back onto the sunrise itself. It’s taking it’s time peeking up over the horizon.</p><p>San is willing to wait.</p><p>“Morale here has been low, to be honest,” Yeosang admits, his voice dragging San out of his thoughts. “Now that Hongjoong’s been gone and Jongho is ill <em> and </em> hurt…”</p><p>“I know,” San murmurs, frowning. “Feels like as soon as we’ve found a place that hasn’t been torn apart yet, there’s already things messing with it.”</p><p>“Exactly.” Yeosang sighs. “I want to do something for everyone but I don’t know what.”</p><p>San’s heart warms at the words. <em> This</em>, he thinks, is what made him fall for Yeosang over the years as much as he did—the boy’s quiet but insistent want to help the people he cares about is so… it’s <em> heartwarming</em>, San just doesn’t know how else to describe it. Yeosang sets an ache in his chest in general, but when he says things like this, that ache blooms into a fierce urge to protect him, because San doesn’t really know how else to show Yeosang that he loves him as much as he does other than through his actions.</p><p>He was young when the world began its end, so he doesn’t even know if there was ever a time when he could’ve learned how to love differently.</p><p>“We can brainstorm, if you want,” he offers.</p><p>“That’s probably better than staring at the wall and thinking out loud,” Yeosang admits. San snickers and Yeosang pouts, setting his cup down carefully on his arm of the bench. “Hey, I’m doing my best!”</p><p>“I know you are, and I love you for it,” San says seriously, rolling his eyes when Yeosang scoffs. “I’m being serious, Yeosang. What ideas did you have?”</p><p>Yeosang starts wringing his hands together as he thinks his way through what he’s going to list out. San watches his fingers tangle together for a few brief moments, long and tapered but calloused from years of hardship, before he gives in and sets his own cup of tea down next to his feet to reach out and pull one of Yeosang’s hands away to hold it in his own, bringing it up to his lips to press a kiss to the knuckles. Yeosang huffs out a laugh and San grins, rubbing his thumb over Yeosang’s knuckles.</p><p>“Well,” he starts, clearing his throat. “There are so many young ones here.”</p><p>San hums. “Yeah?”</p><p>“And…” Yeosang leans into San further. “They don’t have much to do. They play around a lot, but Minseo’s always talking about how bored she is, now that we’ve settled down.”</p><p>San smiles. Minseo is one of the young children Seonghwa and Hongjoong had found years prior. She’s turning nine within a month now and likes to play with Yeosang, whose seemingly quiet and pessimistic disposition completely melts away around her. “True. What’s your solution?”</p><p>Yeosang is a comfortable weight beside San as his mind drifts underneath the lazy rise of the sun and wind rustling through the trees. Yeosang murmurs, “Do you remember how we wanted to be teachers?”</p><p>“God,” San laughs. Yeosang nudges him playfully with his shoulder. “You really remember that?”</p><p>It’s true, but the last time San made any mention of it they were fourteen years old and still had hope that things would return back to normal. He’s lost the idealized hopefulness of it since, letting it melt away into a methodical kind of cynicism that Yeosang would frown upon occasionally. Nearly seven years later, and he feels a twinge of odd nostalgia in his chest over the thought that Yeosang remembered enough to ask him about it.</p><p>“I do,” Yeosang confirms easily. “That was, like, my thing growing up before everything fell apart, you know? My parents were super happy to support me. I thought I had it all planned out back then.”</p><p>There’s no sadness in his voice. San nods. “Me too. Funny how things turned out, hm?” Yeosang hums in agreement. “So you’re suggesting… what, exactly?”</p><p>“I’m suggesting we let the kids learn some things about the world before everything went to shit,” Yeosang explains. “You know, a school of sorts. A more lax one, of course, and I don’t think this generation needs to know things like complicated math or anything of the sort anymore, but you know what I mean, right?”</p><p>The thought is… beyond intriguing, when San thinks about it. A mini-school for the new kids—“That sounds really nice, actually,” San admits.</p><p>“Yeah, I think so too,” Yeosang says, satisfaction clear in his voice. “It’d also be a good way to finally teach the kids about what herbs are useful for what ailments, and all the animals and bugs in the forest—it seems like the practical thing to do now that we’ve finally settled down, don’t you think?”</p><p>The pessimist in San wants to point out that they may not stay here forever, but he can tell Yeosang’s excited about this idea and shuts that part of him up, choosing to instead say, “Of course. It sounds amazing. I can bring it up to Seonghwa later when I go to talk to him?”</p><p>Yeosang nods, essentially just nuzzling himself further into San’s shoulder. “That sounds great. I’m… I’m glad you like the idea. Even if it doesn’t work out—”</p><p>“Hush now,” San says amusedly, nudging Yeosang until he sits up and faces him with a quizzical expression. “You’ve always had the best ideas on what we should do, especially if it was dealing with an injury or sickness. That’s why Jisun’s so fond of you, remember? You’re amazing, and I love you.”</p><p>Those three words are still sometimes hard to get out. There’s a glint of understanding in Yeosang’s eyes. “I love you too,” he murmurs, his nose scrunching up instinctively before he leans in to press a kiss to San’s lips.</p><p>It’s much too brief to satisfy the swirl of emotions in San’s chest, and when Yeosang pulls away he chases after him with a hand on the back of his neck. Yeosang is pliant and giving, the familiarity of their lips meeting settling into San’s skin. When San nips at Yeosang’s bottom lip lightly, Yeosang whimpers into his mouth and then groans low in his throat when San licks at the seam of his lips, silently asking for permission. </p><p>It devolves quickly, which is also familiar. San’s about to make his way down to Yeosang’s neck when his lover huffs hoarsely and pulls away, tangling a hand in his hair to drag him up, and the whine San lets out in response makes him chuckle. “Do you realize we’re out in the open, San?” He murmurs, holding his gaze intently, and San rolls his eyes.</p><p>“The closest people to us are Jongho and Mingi, and they’re never awake early,” he points out, impatience crawling underneath his skin because he desperately wants to put his mouth back on Yeosang, who simply smiles.</p><p>“You should go talk to Seonghwa first,” he says reasonably.</p><p>San pouts. “Yeosangie—”</p><p>“<em>Sannie</em>,” Yeosang mocks in a saccharine sweet voice, and San just barely stops himself from shivering embarrassingly. “C’mon, mind over matter for now. As much as I’d love to keep kissing you, I know you too well—you’d probably try to fuck me on this bench if you could.”</p><p>The crass wording makes something in San’s stomach swoop dangerously as he blushes. “Well,” he starts, before he realizes that’s exactly what he’d do and grins. “Fine, fine. I guess you’re right. But I’ll be back for more.”</p><p>Yeosang rolls his eyes. “Right, whatever.”</p><p>San pulls him into one last sweet kiss, pulling away to press his lips to his forehead briefly, and breathes in deep. Then he stands and gets ready for the day, taking his cup of tea with him. Behind him, the sun rises over the horizon and nudges away the last of the night, and a bird sings its greetings.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tonight I can snatch their talk</em><br/>
<em>From the faint surf's drone</em><br/>
<em>Through the canes, but I cannot walk</em><br/>
<br/>
<em>on the moonlit leaves of ocean</em><br/>
<em>down that white road alone,</em><br/>
<em>or float with the dreaming motion</em>
</p><p><em>of owls leaving earth's load.</em><br/>
<em>O Earth, the number of friends you keep exceeds those left to be loved.</em><br/>
- Derek Walcott, “Sea Canes”</p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa has a cup of tea ready for San when he stops by. San, for once, has to decline. “Yeosang already gave me some,” he says by way of explanation.</p><p>Seonghwa smiles and says, “I’ll have the cup for myself, then. Tell me, how are you doing?”</p><p>San shuts the door silently behind him. Seonghwa and Hongjoong have a bigger cottage than the one he shares with Yeosang. It’s the biggest in their little village, actually, but it isn’t out of a sense of self-importance from either of the two—it’s because of the four kids that stay in their home, all currently sleeping in beds of feather and wool. There are kids in almost every cottage, but only Seonghwa has the patience to deal with more than one.</p><p>If San thinks about it, he knows Yeosang wants to unofficially adopt Minseo into their own home, if the not-so-vague hints and the amount of time he spends teaching her in their living room until Jisun, their resourceful medic, asks for her by dinnertime with a knowing smile on her face happens to be any indication. The thought of them being… a <em> family </em> makes his cheeks warm with heat.</p><p>Seonghwa’s still waiting for him to answer, raising a knowing eyebrow, and San only blushes further. “Everything is going fine. It’s peaceful.”</p><p>“It is,” Seonghwa hums. He gestures at San to sit down on the ground with him, wooden flooring softened by squishy rugs that San feels the urge to try falling asleep on, though he brushes the immature thought aside in favor of paying Seonghwa attention when he says, “There’s still no word on Hongjoong.”</p><p>The older boy’s features are carefully arranged into a sense of calm, but San knows better. “I’m sending another letter out,” he says. “The other camps have been cooperative as of late, haven’t they?”</p><p>Seonghwa sighs. “They have, but who knows if we can fully trust them?”</p><p>The words send a spark of worry through San. “Hongjoong hyung’s been through so much worse, hyung,” San says reassuringly, defaulting to the honorifics he rarely ever uses anymore. </p><p>Seonghwa drags a weary hand over his face and sips at his tea. He looks tired in the firelight of the candles he has set up around the living room. San’s always worried over how unsafe having candles seemed to be in a very flammable living space, but Seonghwa brushes it off every time.</p><p>Of course, if anyone could prevent a disaster like that from occurring, it would be Seonghwa—Hongjoong as well, he thinks. The two were their saviors—and by <em> they</em>, San doesn't just mean he and Yeosang, but nearly every other person living in their little village. And yet San is sure Seonghwa and Hongjoong haven’t aged a day since… still the same young adults they were when they rescued San and Yeosang as preteens.</p><p>Every time San asks about it, Seonghwa hushes him or changes the subject, and Hongjoong cheekily tells him not to ask around about his hyungs’ ages. And then he feels a strange sensation pushing him away from that train of thought and he forgets all about what he was going to ask, every single time.</p><p>“I’m still worried,” Seonghwa murmurs now, glaring hard into his cup of tea like it’ll fix his problems if he stares intensely enough. It’s the most agitated San’s seen him in a while—the last time being when they’d lost one of the kids in the forest only to find her playing with a snake in a clearing (San still doesn’t quite understand how Sian made it out alive, but he digresses).</p><p>San feels terrible, knowing Seonghwa has to deal with the disappearance of his lover on top of the weight of the village’s wellbeing on his shoulders. He knows he takes the latter upon him gratefully, but still.</p><p>“Let’s be optimistic for now,” San says. And then—“And I know you’re opposed to this, but I really wouldn’t mind hunting him down myself—”</p><p>“San,” Seonghwa interjects slowly, looking up at him with a disapproving frown. Firelight dances in his eyes, and San tries not to sigh. “I won’t have you go out and possibly get injured. You are not to leave, understand me?”</p><p>In moments like these, it’s far too easy to remember just why Seonghwa is as good of a leader as he is. San backs off and drops his gaze. “Fine,” he mumbles. “I won’t go anywhere.”</p><p>Seonghwa nods. “Good. Now tell me, how is Yeosang? I haven’t seen him in awhile.”</p><p>“It’s been three days, hyung,” San says dryly, to which Seonghwa pouts. He can tell he really does need a topic change and obliges. “Yeosang’s good. He’s always visiting Jongho right when you leave, so you don’t run into each other.”</p><p>Seonghwa purses his lips. “I’ll have to visit you two sometime, then. He’s picking up on Jisun’s skills well too, is he not?”</p><p>“Yeah,” San says, grinning proudly and not even caring that Seonghwa’s smiling at him knowingly. “He’s so good at what he does.”</p><p>“I know he is,” Seonghwa murmurs. “I’m proud of him.”</p><p>Small talk is easy with Seonghwa, who seems to understand how San is feeling at any given moment and adjusts accordingly with no complaint. It's all too easy to fall into it until Yerin wakes up with a yawn and immediately begins begging for breakfast. San almost forgets what Yeosang had brought up earlier that morning until they're standing at Seonghwa's doorstep, the older boy already looking tired as the kids he watches over fool around behind him.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeosang had this idea,” San says carefully, trying to gauge Seonghwa's reaction before he even says anything, and Seonghwa raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“He just brought up—you know, the prospect of starting something new now that we've mostly settled down,” San says. “A school of sorts. Nothing too formal, but... it sounded nice to me, and I think it'd be a good way to make things official, if that makes sense?”</p><p>The look on Seonghwa's face is unreadable for a moment before he smiles, nodding slowly. “That doesn't sound too bad, actually,” he says, a thoughtful look in his eyes as he sips at his tea. “It could work if we rotated, hm? I'll keep that in mind. Thank you for telling me.”</p><p>San grins and leans in to give him a hug. “Yeah! Let me know what you decide.”</p><p>“Of course,” Seonghwa says. “Tell Yeosang I said hello and that I'll visit soon.”</p><p>By the time San starts heading back, everyone's waking up—Wooyoung shouts a hello from in front of his house and he catches Gyuri tending to her gardens. Life has been this peaceful for nearly two months now, according to Seonghwa. Ever since they escaped off of what used to be Korea's mainland and made it to Jeju-do, things have been... quiet. It's almost too good to be true, San thinks to himself, because after years of running and pushing back against time itself, how is he supposed to take this newfound peace without a grain of salt?</p><p>They aren't the only people here, of course—there are two other small villages near them, and more near the coast off of where they arrived. Sometimes, San finds himself being uneasy even as he reminds himself that each person here is only searching for peace and calm after going through their own struggles. But even with people around them, they rarely actually make contact. It's as though they're in their own little bubble.</p><p>He wants to be suspicious, but he finds it's impossible when he walks through the grass and makes his way back home, catching Yeosang tending to their small garden that he'd only started when they were sure things were safe. Because things are safe now, he realizes. And maybe this is home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They don’t actually build a school, of course.</p><p>That takes valuable time and effort, and would deplete their resources far too quickly. Instead, Jisun volunteers to move in with Gyuri, who looks all too giddy to accept her, freeing up space for them to teach kids in small groups. Older kids like Yerin and Hyunjin are none too excited at the prospect of having to sit down for more than an hour at a time, but Minseo is beyond excited—she drags Jisung over to their cottage before sunrise the day school officially begins and nearly breaks their door down out of sheer excitement.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Jisun says tiredly as Minseo promptly attempts to climb up Yeosang’s leg with pleas of <em> Yeosangie, take me to school! Jisun unnie won’t let me go!</em>, and Yeosang can’t seem to stop smiling. “I woke up to go collect herbs for Jongho and she was already awake.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Yeosang says kindly as he picks Minseo up and kisses her forehead. “Woah, you’re getting tall, aren’t you?”</p><p>“You can still pick me up!” Minseo argues with a pout, firmly clinging to him.</p><p>“I would force her to stay with Gyuri, but she followed me out of the house,” Jisun mutters, directing it towards San, who leans against the doorway and watches Yeosang play with Minseo fondly. “And I do need to collect herbs, so…”</p><p>“We can babysit,” San says easily. “Has she eaten yet?”</p><p>Jisun pouts. “No. She said she wasn’t hungry.”</p><p>“We’ll feed her,” San promises. “Go do your medic thing, noona.”</p><p>“You’re too kind,” Jisun sighs. “Okay, I’ll be back, but if Jongho’s physical therapy takes too long—”</p><p>San grins. “We’ll take her to school too, then.”</p><p>Jisun laughs. “I’m sorry again. You know, you two would make good parents.”</p><p>At this, San finds himself blushing. “Um, thank you?”</p><p>She hides a knowing giggle behind her hand as she steps away from their door, waving at Yeosang when he finally manages to look away from Minseo. “Just a thought I’ve had recently.”</p><p>And then she’s gone, heading off towards the woods and leaving San to blink after her. <em> Alright</em> <em>then</em>. He tries not to let the thought fluster him and ultimately fails when he turns around to see Yeosang setting Minseo back down and giving him a fond look.</p><p>“Hi,” is all San can get out.</p><p>Yeosang laughs. “What did noona say to make you so flustered?”</p><p>San feels his face heat up only further. “Um—it’s nothing, don’t worry,” he says hoarsely, and then changes the subject. “I can make breakfast!”</p><p>“Hm, alright,” Yeosang says with a smile. “Whatever you say.”</p><p>When San moves past him, he drags him in for a quick kiss that leaves San’s heart trying to jump out of his mouth even as Minseo gags and says, “<em>Ew</em>,” with feeling. Yeosang’s lips are soft and he smiles into it, and San—</p><p>Well, the overwhelming mix of emotions that hit him out of nowhere makes his eyes burn with unshed tears suddenly and embarrassingly, and he doesn’t know why. He pulls away to kiss Yeosang’s forehead and then turns around quickly, trying to calm down as he heads to the kitchen.</p><p>“It's not disgusting, Minseo,” Yeosang chastises the young girl while San makes their food. “It's completely normal.”</p><p>“Still nasty,” Minseo says confidently. “San looks too gooey around you.”</p><p>“Hey!” San protests as Minseo shrugs and Yeosang bursts into laughter.</p><p>“We need to split up who teaches who if this is gonna have any chance at success,” is what Yunho says when they arrive at Jisun's old home. Hers is larger than the rest in the same way Seonghwa and Hongjoong's is, though in her case, it was for the pain purpose of storing herbs, so the scents of jasmine and mint leaves still hang heavy in the air even from outside the cottage. “Also, who's gonna teach who. I personally think the older kids should start learning how to hunt.”</p><p>“Hunting?” Wooyoung asks incredulously. “Yunho, the oldest kids are like... thirteen years old. Do you really want to put Hyunjin and Yerin through that?”</p><p>Yunho sighs. “I knew you would say that. Woo, how old were you when the world ended?”</p><p>Wooyoung blinks at him confusedly before it seems to click. “...Thirteen,” he says sullenly.</p><p>“That's what I thought,” Yunho says.</p><p>“Can I learn how to hunt?” Minseo asks hopefully. “It sounds fun! And dangerous!”</p><p>“Oh, <em>hell no</em>,” San and Yeosang reply at the same time. “Please don't even think about it,” San adds, and Minseo pouts.</p><p>It gets decided that Wooyoung will teach scouting basics, San and Yunho will teach hunting basics, and Jisun and Yeosang will teach medic basics—“We do need to teach them what herbs are for what, just so they don't fuck around and ingest something they're not supposed to,” Yeosang says a matter-of-factly, and San nods.</p><p>“You're so smart,” he says with feeling.</p><p>“Thanks,” Yeosang replies with a knowing grin. “But stop drooling.”</p><p>“I feel the need to cut this off now before you two start making out,” Wooyoung announces distastefully, and Yeosang slaps his best friend upside the head.</p><p>Gyuri decides to take up the job of teaching them how to garden, which seems hyperspecific and also doesn't seem like it'd go well, considering the younger kids and their violent, trampling-over-flowers-constantly streak, but San respects it. And Seonghwa decides to observe for the first couple weeks before he does anything.</p><p>It starts off shakily—Wooyoung decides to be a fool and take some of them into the forest with him, nearly screaming his head off when he lost Minju within ten minutes—but once it really gets going, it goes well. Every morning, Minseo bounds up to their house with an apologetic-looking Jisun, begging them to take her even when anything isn't scheduled, and after a while, they find themselves simply caring for her instinctively.</p><p>“She might as well just stay here always,” Jisun says wryly, one day, and it's impossible to miss the way Yeosang's head snaps up immediately after she says it.</p><p>San gauges his reaction, and when it's clear he isn't going to make a move to respond, he says, “I know, but it's fine. We don't mind.”</p><p>“I mean, I'm enjoying it,” Yeosang pipes up. “Minseo, do you like staying with us?”</p><p>“I guess,” Minseo says. “Jisun unnie doesn't make fun of me as much, though.”</p><p>Yeosang pouts. “That's all San, not me!”</p><p>“What the—” San scowls. “I'm never mean to anyone. Don't spread lies!”</p><p>“Okay, okay,” says Jisun, looking amused as she brushes her hair behind an ear. “But Minnie and I have been talking, hmm? About the possibility of her staying here for a little longer.”</p><p>Yeosang blinks, wide-eyed and gaze full of hope. “Wait, you mean—”</p><p>“Unnie calls it <em>unofficial adoption</em>,” Minseo says with the air of someone who doesn't actually know what that means, and San hides a laugh behind his hand as she blinks up at the three of them. “She said I can stay here, only if you guys are okay with it.”</p><p>Well, it's not like they need to discuss it, judging by the smile blooming across Yeosang's face. “I'm pretty sure Sangie here already has his mind made up about this,” he laughs, to which Yeosang simply sticks his tongue out at him childishly.</p><p>“Of course,” he says emphatically. “Minseo and I get along too well for it not to work.”</p><p>“But you have to want it too, Sannie,” Minseo says, sounding peculiarly worried for someone her own age, and once again San is reminded of just how fast everyone is forced to go up, even in peaceful times like these.</p><p>San looks into her sincere eyes and then glances at Jisun, who squints between the three of them with a knowing look. And then he looks at Yeosang, who's gaze is surprisingly neutral yet intense, and he really doesn't know what else he's supposed to say besides—</p><p>“Of course I want to,” he murmurs, gathering Minseo up in his arms, and Yeosang's lips curve up into a smile. “I'm pretty sure we've always been a family, anyway.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You look stressed,” Yeosang murmurs into San’s ear one afternoon, before San feels hands wrap around his waist. Predictably enough, the touch paired with Yeosang’s deep, soft voice in his ear makes him shiver and promptly lose focus on the letter he’s been glaring at for the better part of fifteen minutes. When he glances down, he immediately fixates on the sight of Yeosang’s hands on his waist as he pulls him back against his chest. Yeosang’s hands are small, but admittedly so is San’s waist, and the sight makes him instantly blush despite himself. “What are you looking at?”</p><p>“Hwanwoong’s village sent a letter back regarding Hongjoong,” San mutters, setting the letter down onto their makeshift countertop. It's just them in the house—Gyuri was watching over Minseo for them for a few hours. It's quiet and calm, yet San feels tense.</p><p>Yeosang makes a noise of surprise. “What does it say? Is Hongjoong alright?”</p><p>“That’s the problem,” San says flatly. “They claim they haven’t seen him. Not even their foragers or medics have heard a word from hyung at all.”</p><p>“Oh,” Yeosang says quietly, clearly disappointed. “Has… Seonghwa already seen this?”</p><p>“Of course,” San replies tired. “Yunho knows too. He was the one who gave it to me and told me to give it back to Seonghwa later.”</p><p>Yeosang sighs before tucking his chin over San’s shoulder. He rocks them back and forth in a clear attempt to soothe San, though he isn’t sure if it actually works. “We’ll have to trust in Hongjoong here. He’s seen and gone through much worse, hasn’t he?”</p><p>He’s reassuring San the same way San tried to reassure Seonghwa, but now San understands how Seonghwa must have felt hearing it—trying to relax and ultimately failing, giving in to the agitated sort of anxiety that sits just underneath his skin and makes him itch. “But still,” San bemoans. “He’s never just up and disappeared out of nowhere. If Seonghwa just let me go after him—”</p><p>“Sannie, don’t,” Yeosang says. The tinge of worry in his tone that San’s all too used to hearing whenever Yeosang thinks he’s behaving too recklessly is apparent even as he tightens his hands around San’s waist. “You know why Seonghwa won’t let you go. He doesn’t want to put you in danger.”</p><p>“There <em> is </em> no danger,” San protests. Yeosang snorts.</p><p>“You can never be sure of that and you know it,” Yeosang says, and once again San knows he’s being the more reasonable one. “Let’s give it a few more days, okay? If something were to<em>—happen </em> to Hongjoong, although I doubt it, I know Seonghwa would be aware of it instantly. They’ve always had a weird connection.”</p><p>This, he knows, is true. Once, several years back, Seonghwa had gotten a deep cut on his arm after an altercation with a group of clearly starving people attempting to steal from their food supply. Hongjoong, who had been out scouting the other way with Yunho and Wooyoung, came back running with the other two on his heels, a crazed look in his eyes as he immediately dashed to Seonghwa’s side, where Jisun and Yeosang were already tending to his wound. Seonghwa had kissed Hongjoong tenderly in front of all of them, a fond smile on his face as Hongjoong blushed profusely.</p><p>“I guess you have a point,” San mutters.</p><p>“I always do,” Yeosang says cheekily, before turning San around and wrapping his arms around San’s neck, pulling him in so their foreheads touch. “Don’t worry so hard, alright, love? Have a little faith. Everything will be okay.”</p><p>He says it with so much conviction that San immediately feels a little better, the dark cloud above him easing just a bit. “Okay,” he whispers. “I could still totally take it upon myself to go look for him—”</p><p>“Choi San,” Yeosang says, clearly exasperated. “That’s not going to happen and if you ever even <em> think </em> about sneaking out as soon as I turn around I’ll kill you myself, understand me?”</p><p>San sighs and rolls his eyes. “Fine, I guess.”</p><p>“I’m serious,” Yeosang says firmly. “I want you here. Hongjoong hyung will be fine, I know it.”</p><p>He pouts, predictably melting under Yeosang’s gaze as he says, “Okay, Yeosangie. I know he’ll probably be fine too.”</p><p>“Promise me right now.”</p><p>He snorts, searching Yeosang’s face for a hint of amusement. But all he sees is serious worry, and he raises an eyebrow. “Really?”</p><p>“Yes, San,” Yeosang says, eyes wide and sincere. One of his hands absently plays with the hair at the nape of San’s neck, and San tries not to shiver. “Please? It’d make me feel better.”</p><p>San groans, playing himself right into Yeosang’s hands. “Okay, okay. I promise I won’t go look for Hongjoong. But I <em> will </em> worry.”</p><p>“Well, I know,” Yeosang says a matter-of-factly as he leans away, looking thoroughly relieved. “We’re all worrying our heads off, love. But... thank you. It really does mean a lot.” Then he brightens. “Let's take your mind off things, shall we?”</p><p>San squints. “How do you propose doing that?”</p><p>Yeosang grins, looking so excited that San can't help but be endeared. “Well, now that the school's operating full-time and everyone's rotating teachers—I asked Seonghwa when he came around earlier, and he said the hot springs at the edge of the forest will be open for the rest of the day.” He looks suddenly shy for a moment. “Um, I mean. If you want.”</p><p>San smiles. “Of course I want to. Sounds relaxing, doesn't it?”</p><p>“Exactly,” Yeosang says proudly. “Go get your things and then we can go! But not for too long, because I need to meet up with Yunho later.”</p><p>“Sounds good,” San says, Yeosang's excitement infectious enough to make him lean in and kiss his lover's forehead before he bounds off.</p><p>When he comes back with his towel and a new set of clothes in hand, Yeosang has a basket of fruit on top of his things and smiles sweetly at him. “It's self-care time,” he announces.</p><p>San laughs, quietly grateful for Yeosang's clear ability to cheer him up despite San's unfortunate knack for digging himself in pits of dark emotions whenever he feels down.</p><p>There's a strange, unexplainable lack of animals in this forest. San has seen the occasional deer and bird, but nothing more—and the animals he does see give them a wide berth, hyperaware of their presence. He's never once seen them near the springs despite how large it is, and in asking Seonghwa and Hongjoong he'd gotten nothing more than the typical evasiveness that he's far too used to. It makes his life a little easier, though, so it's not as though he can legitimately complain about it.</p><p>It's gorgeous, here—the trees provide enough shade to be comfortable, and the rocks around the water seem sculptured perfectly, almost too picturesque to be natural. The water steams and bubbles enticingly and Yeosang wastes no time in stripping his clothes off, folding them neatly next to a smaller rock. When he turns around, San's still standing there, fidgeting nervously. Yeosang raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>San winces, clearing his throat. “Y-yeah, I'm fine,” he mutters, before ridding himself of his own clothes.</p><p>They ease their way into the water slowly. Yeosang gets used to it faster than San does, chest-deep by the time the water's up to his thighs, but when he's all the way in he tilts his head back and sighs contentedly as the hot water envelops him. Yeosang laughs lightly. “Enjoying yourself?”</p><p>“Of course,” San says with feeling.</p><p>It's far too easy to want to fall asleep like this, San thinks as he stares up the intertwining leaves of two trees that happened to grow too close to each other. He watches Yeosang, who quirks an eyebrow up at him until he glances away, and Yeosang huffs out a laugh. </p><p>After a while of comfortable silence, they chatter idly with each other. San is glad Yeosang's comfortable with him because he turns into a chatterbox easily, rambling on about new discoveries he's made within the forest and how he's been spending his time while San listens intently. It's all too easy to let the warmth seep into his skin, soaking up the water and the way Yeosang laughs unabashedly when San pokes fun at him. And when Yeosang reaches out with grabby hands to pull San next to him, he obliges without a second thought. </p><p><em>Love</em>, San thinks absentmindedly when they kiss, the hot spring's steam making them pant against each other's mouths. <em>This is love</em>. At least, he's pretty sure it is—it's hard to name the experience past half-fragmented memories when he was a child and the feeling in his chest whenever Yeosang looks at him with something heated in his gaze.</p><p>He thinks about how his parents used to dance in the kitchen making dinner on weekend nights, laughing and tangling their fingers together when San made disgusted faces at them. He took that love for granted, back then. Now, with birds singing faraway and Yeosang's hand on the nape of his neck, San knows not to make that mistake once more.</p><p>“You're so beautiful,” he murmurs when he pulls away from sucking on Yeosang's tongue, basking in the hot water as he presses light kisses up the sharp line of Yeosang's jaw, nipping at his earlobe, and Yeosang groans—from the words or from the sensation, San isn't sure—and San <em>cannot stop giving</em>. The want to show Yeosang just how loved he is sets an ache in his fingertips that makes him settle his hands on Yeosang's waist and pull their bodies as close together as possible, aligning their hips and reveling in Yeosang's stuttered breath.</p><p>“Wanna suck you off,” San whispers.</p><p>Yeosang huffs out a breath, tilting his head back so San can nip at his neck. “Out here in the open?”</p><p>“You said yourself that no one's coming around for a while,” San points out.</p><p>Yeosang shakes his head. “I'm starting to think you like the idea of being caught.”</p><p>San laughs against Yeosang's Adam's apple, feeling it move against his lips when Yeosang snickers. He presses a light kiss before he moves away. “C'mon, sit up here.”</p><p>He pats at a flat opening between the rocks, grabbing his towel and setting it down as a cushion before he helps Yeosang out of the water, grabbing his lover's towel and wrapping it around his shoulders. Yeosang looks down at him with an amused little smile, and San grins.</p><p>“Are you really going to do this?” He asks, though by the way his eyes glint, San can safely assume he wants this too.</p><p>“Absolutely,” he says readily. When he looks down at Yeosang's cock, dripping with water, he feels himself instinctively want to pull him closer, so he does, wrapping his hands around Yeosang's small waist. Yeosang's hand comes up to pet over his hair as he looks down at him thoughtfully, and something almost... conflicting in his gaze.</p><p>“You okay?” He asks, running his fingers up and down Yeosang's torso. “We don't have to do this, you know.”</p><p>Yeosang hums. “No, I'm fine,” he reassures. “I want this. You're pretty, you know?”</p><p>He <em>hates</em> the way he blushes immediately, gaze straying from Yeosang, and he laughs quietly. Instead of deigning that with a response, he leans in to press a kiss to his Yeosang's inner thigh. </p><p>“Let me help you feel good,” he says.</p><p>Yeosang visibly shivers. “No one's stopping you,” he murmurs, and San rolls his eyes.</p><p>He won't lie—he enjoys sucking Yeosang off maybe a little too much. Over the years he's gotten enough practice to make it extra good for his lover, who always responds in kind. But he also enjoys the weight of his length against his tongue too, mouth instinctively watering as he licks at the underside as best he can. Yeosang makes a soft noise and curls his fingers through San's hair, half-concealing him with the towel as San takes his time sucking him off.</p><p>It's admittedly slow, though neither of them complain. Yeosang's moans are low and soft as San bobs his head up and down, submerged in the water up to his shoulders. When he looks up, suckling at the head, Yeosang's eyes are dark and fond at the same time. “Pretty boy,” he whispers, and San makes a low noise from the back of his throat.</p><p>He lets himself go into that slightly-fuzzy headspace where he zones in on how Yeosang's cock feels in his mouth and the noises his lover makes. It doesn't take long for Yeosang's hips to begin twitching up into the head of his mouth, and San lets him tighten the grip he has on his hair before pulling him up and down his cock, setting the pace. He settles his hands on Yeosang's thighs instead and kneads his thumb into the soft skin, feeling the muscles bunch, a testament to how quietly powerful Yeosang truly is.</p><p>He comes with a sigh and a low moan of San's name, and San takes it with relative ease, instinctively tearing up when Yeosang holds him down a little harder than he had previously. “Was I too rough?” Yeosang asks once he pulls off, and San shakes his head.</p><p>“'S nice,” he murmurs hoarsely, lifting himself up and out of the water to sit next to him in what little space is left. Yeosang takes the towel wrapped around his shoulders and gives it to San, drying his torso off before he drags San into a heated kiss, immediately licking into his mouth as he reaches out to wrap a hand around San's dick. The friction is almost harsh but Yeosang goes slow, letting him bury his face in the crook of his lover's neck as he moans, eventually coming with a soft cry. Yeosang catches it in his palm.</p><p>When San looks up, he gets blessed with the sight of Yeosang licking at his hand, and he makes a low noise. “You're gonna be the death of me for real,” he says, and Yeosang laughs.</p><p>“Let's dry ourselves off and then eat,” Yeosang says after a moment. “And then we can come back to the springs later, hm? Did I help you de-stress?”</p><p>He really did. San is forever grateful, and he knows what he's going to do once they're ready to leave. He smiles and nods, leaning in to kiss his lover's forehead. “You really did. Thank you so much, Yeosangie.”</p><p>“Don't thank me,” Yeosang says kindly. “I'm here for you, that's all.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Evening is starting to settle in by the time San visits Jongho and Mingi. The skies paint themselves brilliant hues of reds and pinks, clouds tinted orange as they head for the horizon. Yeosang, he knows, is with Yunho, but he also knows his lover is probably bemoaning the opportunity to stay home and paint the sunset into memory.</p><p>Their door swings open before San can get the opportunity to knock, revealing an overly-excited looking Mingi in an old, worn sweater and a grin too big for his face. The smell of something baking wafts out, and San suddenly feels his stomach growl in response. “Hey, Sannie! Come on in!” Mingi greets before he disappears back into his cottage.</p><p>San steps in, mouth watering instinctively when the sweet smell only gets stronger. “God, what are you guys <em> making?</em>”</p><p>“An old Western-style recipe my mom ingrained in me as a child,” Jongho explains. Then he grins. “Banana bread!” </p><p>Jongho’s broken leg is elevated as he sits on a rocking chair cushioned with pillows. He’d broken his leg only a few days ago after scouting with Yunho and falling into a pit trap set up a long while before they got there, when Jeju-do had been a normal summer vacation getaway. San smiles at him and gives him a careful hug. “How have you been holding up? I’m sorry I don’t visit more often.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Jongho says kindly. “I’d rather not deal with people constantly swarming me anyway, considering I already have <em> him </em> to deal with—” and here, he jerks his head over at Mingi, who doesn’t even seem to notice the blatant disrespect from where he crouches, looking tiny despite his size as he stares at the bread cooking intently. Jongho simply rolls his eyes and smiles fondly as he continues with, “Well, you get what I mean. And I’ve been holding up well. Jisun and Yeosang have helped so much.”</p><p>“I’m glad,” San says sincerely. “And Mingi, how are you doing?”</p><p>Mingi hums absentmindedly before he stands to face them. “I’m good!” he says. “I love this school idea you and Yeosang have put out, by the way. Dealing with Sian gets to be tiring after a while.”</p><p>“It’s not <em> dealing with her</em>,” Jongho scolds. “We’re taking care of her happily and willingly, remember?”</p><p>Mingi rolls his eyes like he’s been forced to sit through this one too many times. “Of course, sweetheart,” he says placatingly in an overly sweet voice.</p><p>“If I could hit you right now, I would,” Jongho grumbles.</p><p>Mingi simply sticks his tongue out at him, though his eyes are sparkling with amusement. San laughs. “Wow, you two are so happy together, huh?”</p><p>“Absolutely,” Mingi says cheerily. “I mean, think about it—would I really be standing around making banana bread if I didn’t love him?”</p><p>“Please shut up,” Jongho whines, turning red, and San giggles. “What are you here for, anyway?”</p><p>Every time he even thinks about what he wants to ask, the nervousness overtakes him. Instead, he just smiles beatifically at the younger boy, who raises an eyebrow. “Can’t I just want to visit?”</p><p>Jongho squints. “Seems like you want to ask me something, hyung.”</p><p><em> Damn it</em>. Jongho was always way too good at seeing right through him. “Well,” he starts, clearing his throat. “I might be here to ask you something too.”</p><p>“Knew it,” Jongho says triumphantly, grinning. “Come on, then, out with it. What did you want to ask?”</p><p>“It’s—it's kind of a big question,” he starts quietly. He grabs Mingi's attention with that, his friend turning away from the cooking banana bread to tilt his head in question at him. “Something I've been contemplating for a while, you know? And I'll probably never actually get around to it, but I've just been wondering, and I trust your opinion because—”</p><p>“<em>Hyung,</em>” Jongho interjects, clearly holding back an amused smile, “Please spit it out. You're rambling.”</p><p>“Sorry,” San mutters, glaring at Mingi when he snorts. “It's just—I don't really know how to go about asking this.”</p><p>Jongho frowns. “Is it bad in any way?”</p><p>“No!” San says, eyes wide. “It's not bad at all, I'm just embarrassed and unsure of if I'm moving too fast, you know?”</p><p>“Ah,” Jongho says wisely, squinting intently at San, who squirms under the younger boy's analytical gaze. “Can I assume this is about Yeosang, then?”</p><p>“I—well—” San coughs, feeling himself blush. “Um, maybe? How'd you know?”</p><p>“Oh, I need to see this,” Mingi says gleefully, looking between the two with a grin.</p><p>“<em>Mingi</em>,” San groans, and Mingi bursts into laughter. “Jongho, control your husband!”</p><p>“Mingi, honey, please go keep an eye on the food,” Jongho says flatly. “And Sannie, for the record, it's because you said <em> moving too fast</em>. You've always been way too worried about things with Yeosang when in reality they're always going just fine. You freak out too much.”</p><p>San pouts. “It's hard to be a judge of whether we're moving too fast or not when we don't exactly have anything to go off of, Jongho.”</p><p>“Good point,” Jongho says, “But it's not like we need to be going off of how things were. After all, things aren't like the old days anymore.”</p><p>“Also, isn't the whole thing about following your heart?” Mingi pipes up, clearly still listening in, though San wouldn't have expected any less. “I mean, in any context it's always been like that.”</p><p>“Exactly,” Jongho says, smiling at Mingi, who winks at him.</p><p>San winces. “Ew, you two. But okay, I guess. It's just—um, the topic of... marriage. I've been considering it recently.”</p><p>Both Mingi and Jongho gape at San, who automatically blushes and begins fidgeting nervously. “Why are you looking at me like that?”</p><p>“You wanna get married to <em> Yeosang?</em>” Mingi says. He sounds... almost incredulous, like he wouldn't have expected this in a million years, and it immediately puts San on edge.</p><p>“I was just thinking about it,” San says quietly. “It was—you know, a hypothetical. And you two are already married, so—”</p><p>“Mingi, stop talking and focus on the food. Hyung, come here,” Jongho says. The look on his face is open but serious, eyes wide, and he holds his hands out to San, who obeys suspiciously as he steps closer to him, careful of his elevated leg as he takes the younger boy's hands in his. Jongho looks up at him like he's trying to convey as much emotion as he possibly can, lips twisting into a small frown. “You want to get married to Yeosang?”</p><p>“It's just a <em> hypothetical</em>,” San protests. “A <em> what if</em>. I'm not actually sure yet—”</p><p>“No, shut up. You two are perfect for each other,” Jongho says firmly, ignoring San's squeak of annoyance. “I need you to know this, because I've watched you guys together ever since we met and you two have <em> always </em> been stuck like glue. Whenever Yeosang's around to help me with my leg, he talks about you with literal stars in his eyes. It’s frankly embarrassing to watch, I won’t lie.”</p><p>“I fully, one hundred percent agree,” Mingi says with feeling. “About the <em> embarrassing to watch </em> part, I mean.”</p><p>“He talks about me?” San says, because that’s literally all he processed.</p><p>Jongho deadpans. “Of course he does,” he says. “He brings you up constantly and gets shy when I tease him.”</p><p>“It’s disgusting,” Mingi adds.</p><p>“Disgustingly cute, of course,” Jongho finishes for him, side-eyeing Mingi with a warning glare. “<em>Anyway</em>, you know what I mean. You two are so enamored with each other.”</p><p>San looks away, flushing a deep red. “Yeah, I know. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to... you know, take it a step further. Not in that context, obviously. <em>Fuck</em>. You know what I mean, right?”</p><p>Jongho laughs. “I do.” Then he turns to Mingi. “Baby, can you go get the wreaths Seonghwa lent us?”</p><p>Mingi raises a dubious eyebrow, and San frowns. “Which one do you want me to get?”</p><p>“All of them,” Jongho answers. “I want San to take his pick.”</p><p>“Why are you talking about wreaths?” San inquires, but Mingi's already nodding and heading towards the other side of their home.</p><p>Jongho gives him a close-lipped smile. “You'll see.”</p><p>Mingi comes back with a stack of flower wreaths in his hands. They're all intricate—thin tree branches intertwining with each other and flowers of different colors. There's one with white and pink, another with blue and yellow. San blinks at all of them before he looks back at Jongho.</p><p>“Can you explain what these are for?”</p><p>“Well,” Jongho starts as he takes the wreaths of flowers from Mingi's hands. “It's what Seonghwa gave me when I asked him for advice. He said where he comes from, they do this all the time.”</p><p>San frowns. “Doesn't he come from Korea...? I don't think we ever had a tradition like this.”</p><p>At this Jongho looks contemplative. “I don't know,” he says slowly after a moment, “But I can tell that wherever he's from is nothing like what we had before the world ended.”</p><p>San eyes him, but Jongho seems just as in the dark about this as he does. He resolves to ask about it later and then looks at the wreaths of flowers, asking, “So... what do I do? Just pick one?”</p><p>“Pick the one that stands out to you the most,” Jongho explains. “It's fairly simple. All the flowers here represent some aspect of love in some way, so it doesn't matter, and I'm sure Yeosang would appreciate any of this.”</p><p>“Does he know about how the flower wreaths work?” San asks, tilting his head to the side, and Jongho shrugs.</p><p>“I have no idea.”</p><p>“I think he does,” Mingi says with a shrug. “I mean, we did the same thing when Jongho and I were getting together, but you weren't there because you were with Yunho and Hongjoong on a scouting and hunting mission, remember?”</p><p>“I see,” he muses. A jolt of nervousness hits him as he stares down at the flower crown—he's really about to do this. He can't believe it.</p><p>“It's kind of crazy to think about, right?” Jongho murmurs knowingly. “Marrying the love of your life, I mean. I feel like we've all grown up in this world feeling like we don't deserve it, but here we are.” He pauses, watching San run a hand through his hair. “For the record, hyung—we <em>all</em> deserve a little love in our lives.”</p><p>“A lot, I think,” Mingi adds. “We've been through enough. Go get your man, Sannie! Pick a wreath.”</p><p>In the end, he chooses the white-and-pink one. It feels delicate in his hands and he cradles it gently. “Good luck, hyung,” Jongho says ominously, and Mingi breaks out into a fit of laughter at the look on San's face. “I'm kidding. You <em>know</em> he's going to say yes, right? At worst, he'll ask to hold it off a little longer, but that's it.”</p><p>“You should see how he talks about you when you aren't around,” Mingi says wisely. “He won't say no. He loves you a lot, Sannie.”</p><p>San murmurs, “Yeah? I love him too.”</p><p>Jongho gives him a fair share of the banana bread once Mingi takes it out of where it's been cooking, and San basks in the heavenly smell before he steels himself, stepping outside the house and waving his goodbyes to his friends. The night is quiet and peaceful, and Yeosang has most likely made it back to their home already. If he hasn't, San will wait. But he knows it's most likely time, either way.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And it goes like this—</p><p>“Jisun showed Yunho and I a new batch of medicinal herbs for treating wounds,” Yeosang says excitedly as they eat supper together in front of the fire, the warm flames turning Yeosang’s skin alight. His normally golden-brown irises reflect into a gorgeous fiery amber, his brown hair bleached by too much sunlight flickering into gold. San has hidden the flower wreath in the nooks and crannies of their kitchen cabinets, impatiently waiting to bring it out. “Honestly, Jongho should feel better in no time. Did he complain of any pains when you visited him?”</p><p>“He didn’t,” San says. “He’s been healing well. Even Seonghwa’s surprised.”</p><p>Yeosang smiles faintly. “He’s the toughest guy I know. Well, besides Seonghwa and Hongjoong. And Yunho too, actually.”</p><p>He’s clearly only trying to tease San for the sake of it, but San pouts anyway. “You’re so mean,” he complains, and Yeosang snickers.</p><p>“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he says. He pauses before adding, “You’re probably the strongest person I know, actually.”</p><p>“Am I?” San says, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“Yeah,” Yeosang replies. “I mean, you put up with me. You’ve put up with me for years now. That’s definitely a feat.”</p><p>San pauses and searches his face intently. Yeosang has everything laid out bare, eyes wide and expression sincere as he takes another bite of banana bread. “Yeosang,” San says slowly, and his lover hums in acknowledgement. “Do you… think I’m just putting up with you?”</p><p>Yeosang immediately glances away. “Um, I was mostly just joking—”</p><p>“Mostly,” San repeats, frowning. “So there had to be some modicum of truth to it then, yes?”</p><p>“Well—I mean—” he’s floundering now, cheeks turning red. “I know that’s not true, but—”</p><p>“Yeosang,” San says calmly, and Yeosang’s eyes dart back to him. “Tell me why you think I’ve only been <em> putting up with you </em> this entire time.”</p><p>It’s because he’s genuinely curious even as it hurts him to think about how he could’ve made Yeosang feel lacking in any way, even if it wasn’t his intention to do so. Yeosang begins wringing his hands together, fingers tangling in a classic tell as he looks away again. “It’s not that—look, Sannie, I know you love me, and I love you too.”</p><p>San feels confused. “Then what’s the problem?” He asks.</p><p>“It’s just—” Yeosang sighs. “This whole apocalyptic thing—it shouldn’t have happened. We should’ve been able to live our lives as spoiled kids. The only things we should be worried about are hiding boyfriends and sneaking out and studying for college entrance exams. And if none of this ever happened, Sannie, we wouldn’t even be aware of each other's existences. Instead, you found me almost dead in an alleyway and had to take care of me until Seonghwa and Hongjoong found us and took us in. And it’s not like you’re taking care of me all the time, but I can tell it still puts a strain on you sometimes. And—” he stops abruptly as his gaze settles back on San, and his eyes widen. “I—Sannie, why are you crying?”</p><p>He didn’t even realize it himself until a tear rolls down his cheek slowly. He dashes it away with his sleeve and mutters, “Sorry.”</p><p>“No, don’t apologize,” Yeosang says hurriedly, setting his food off to the side and making his way over to San. He wraps his arms around his shoulders and pulls him in, and San buries his face in his neck. “I’m sorry. It’s not really an insecurity I harbor now, you know, it’s just…”</p><p>“You think about it sometimes,” San finishes for him quietly.</p><p>“Yeah,” Yeosang whispers.</p><p>He holds him for what feels like a long, long time. San doesn’t cry hard, nor does he stop completely. Every time he thinks about Yeosang growing up during the middle of the apocalypse feeling… <em> devalued</em>, it’s another rush of short-lasting tears and another pang in his chest.</p><p>Because he felt that way, too. He knows it’s why he’s so fixated on helping the village as a whole and being Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s right-hand-man—the need to feel useful is irritatingly overwhelming. He supposes it’s why Yeosang took up an interest in Jisun’s knack for medicine and decided to follow in the older girl’s footsteps as well...</p><p>But they’re both doing well now. They’re safe and comfortable and, for the most part, happy with where they are—so a part of him finds it irrational that these behaviors are still ingrained in them even though he also knows how hard it is to get rid of it. The thought fills him with a certain kind of hopelessness that only serves to make him cry harder, embarrassment rushing through him as Yeosang murmurs soothing words into his hair.</p><p>“I hate crying so fucking much,” he mutters hoarsely.</p><p>Yeosang’s voice is thick with emotion when he says, “Well, remember when you used to say you couldn’t cry? I think this is improvement.”</p><p>This is true, he knows. He also knows it’s still hard to be emotionally open, but Yeosang appreciates whenever he tries. And for that, he’s thankful, even if it’s hard to verbalize this.</p><p>When he pulls away later, Yeosang has tears brimming in his eyes too as he brushes away San’s tears. He probably looks disgusting and flushed, but he knows Yeosang doesn’t give a shit. “You mean,” he breathes, “so much to me.”</p><p>Yeosang’s breath hitches. “I know,” he murmurs.</p><p>“I’ll show you every single day anyway,” San promises, taking one of Yeosang’s hands away from his face and bringing it down to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. Yeosang shivers, and he smiles. “I’m not good at saying I appreciate you, so I’ll just try to show you as much as I can.”</p><p>“You’ve grown so much,” Yeosang says, visibly holding back tears, and San—he realizes it’s probably time to ask.</p><p>Taking the initiative in these situations has always been difficult. When they were fifteen years old and terrified after being separated from the rest of the group, it had been Yeosang who soothed him with a kiss. When they were eighteen, Yeosang was the one to bring up the topic of sex—fully knowing they’d fumble too much and be far too awkward but still wanting to experience it with San anyway. Only recently has San been able to initiate intimacy, and he’s always done it less out of a want to experience pleasure and more just to show Yeosang how much he felt for him, unless it was one of the days Yeosang wanted to take the lead. But the topic of marriage, as unofficial as it is in a ruined world, carries much more weight.</p><p>He wants to do it anyway.</p><p>“Wait right here,” he says before he stands up on shaky legs. Yeosang dashes his tears away and watches with an adorably confused little frown as San makes his way towards the kitchen. He hides the wreath of flowers as best he can as he takes it out before turning around and showing it to Yeosang, who squints before his eyes widen.</p><p>San has had a speech planned since Jongho gave it to him. Naturally, all he manages to get out is a very articulate “Um. So.”</p><p>Yeosang’s eyes are still comically wide. “So…?”</p><p>San clears his throat and promptly chokes on his own spit. When he comes to, Yeosang’s already coming over to help him, clearly trying to hold back a smile even as tears brim at his eyes. “Fuck,” San wheezes. “Oh, God, this is embarrassing.”</p><p>“You’re so cute,” Yeosang laughs, before gesturing at the flowers. “What is this for?”</p><p>He says it knowingly, but he seems shy and cautious—like he knows what it signifies for them and doesn’t want to get his hopes up. San meets his eyes and lets himself relax into his lover’s comforting gaze, doing his best to get rid of the involuntary anxiety.</p><p>“It’s for you,” San says simply. “I—Jongho gave it to me, after I visited him. Seonghwa gave him a bunch when he… when he asked Mingi to marry him.”</p><p>It’s Yeosang’s turn to nearly choke, almost leaning on San for support. “What the fuck, I knew what it was but I wasn't sure,” he breathes. “You—me—?”</p><p>“Yes, you and me,” San says with a smile. His fingers shake as he reaches out with his free hand to cup Yeosang’s face, who nuzzles into his palm instinctively. “Yeosang, we’ve known each other for so long. We match each other well, don’t you think?”</p><p>Yeosang pauses before he says, “Yeah, I think we do too. But—”</p><p>“Let me finish, baby,” San says softly. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You don’t inconvenience me in <em> any </em> way—I just need to get that out there. Do you know how badly I’d be doing right now if I didn’t have someone like you to walk me through things? Sometimes I think I wouldn’t be alive, and then I cry and remember you’re still here, and <em> I’m </em> still here, and there’s nothing to worry about.”</p><p>“Sannie,” Yeosang breathes.</p><p>San barrels on. “I know I might not be the best for you—”</p><p>“Shut up,” Yeosang says, laughing wetly. “You’re the love of my life.”</p><p>“O-oh, well.” San feels himself blushing. “Um, that’s good. You—you’re also my—<em>fuck</em>,” he hisses as his words fail him, thoroughly mortified, and Yeosang presses his lips together in a pathetic attempt to hide his amusement. “God, you know what I mean. Don’t laugh!”</p><p>Yeosang lets himself laugh anyway, turning his face to kiss San’s palm. “You’re so, so endearing. Go on, continue.”</p><p>“Right.” San clears his throat again. “Well, yeah. You’re… so important to me. And I figure if we’ve known each other for as long as we have and neither of us is walking away, then…”</p><p>“We should make it official?” Yeosang finishes for him hopefully.</p><p>San nods. “Yeah, i-if you want to. I just—don’t want you to leave me. I don’t want to leave you either. I’ve only recently let myself realize that it’s okay to want that.”</p><p>“That’s good,” Yeosang murmurs, smoothing a hand over the back of his neck and pulling San in so he can kiss his forehead. “I’m proud of you. And for the record, I want to be with you for as long as I can too.”</p><p>He doesn’t know if he was actually <em> expecting </em> Yeosang to say no, but the reassurance is—it's overwhelming. “Is this a yes?” He asks cautiously anyway, some anxiety still crawling underneath his skin.</p><p>“I must be doing something wrong for you to feel like you have to ask,” Yeosang says with a wry smile. “Haven't I shown you how important you are to me, Sannie? You—you make me feel safe and hopeful. I'd fall into a pit of pessimism and die without you, which is funny because you're just as pessimistic as me, hm?”</p><p>“That's a feat, though, isn't it?” San jokes, and Yeosang swats the back of his head with a fond glare.</p><p>“You're so goddamn rude,” he says, exasperated. Then he smiles. “But you get what I mean, right? I'm not good at showing you that I care either, but I'd like to make it as clear as possible. Even if it takes forever to do so properly.”</p><p>“Perks of growing up during the fucking apocalypse,” San says, laughing wetly, and Yeosang shakes his head with a smile.</p><p>“Perks of growing up during the goddamn apocalypse with <em> you</em>,” he says. It's the most sincere San's heard him in a while—not that he's ever been insincere, but he says it with so much heart, so much conviction that San feels like his breath has been punched right out of him. “Which I'm forever thankful for, San. Thank you for being there for me.”</p><p>“You don't need to thank me,” San says hoarsely. “I should be thanking you.”</p><p>“Maybe we should stop being stubborn and just thank each other,” Yeosang says wisely. “We still have time to grow now that we're safe. And we know how to protect each other too, so don't worry.” He grins. “And yes, you fool, I'll marry you.”</p><p>San feels tears prick at his eyes again as he picks the flower wreath of flowers up and sets it over Yeosang's head. Yeosang smiles cheekily at him, winking obnoxiously, and he laughs. “Thank you,” he whispers. “I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too, sweetheart,” Yeosang murmurs. “You're more precious than you know.”</p><p>He looks beautiful. San admires him in his all white stay-at-home outfit, golden-brown hair falling into his eyes as he adjusts the wreath on his head and then pulls San in for a kiss. The fire crackles with warmth behind them as they melt into each other, the last bits of sunlight fading into night. Tomorrow, San thinks, will be a new day. It will be one he spends with the love of his life, peacefully knowing Yeosang loves him as much as he loves Yeosang, and the thought makes him press against Yeosang as hard as he can, determined to show him where to start.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hongjoong comes back the morning of San and Yeosang’s wedding.</p><p>It’s a miracle, though San claims to not believe in them. The wind sings its praises through the trees as Yunho yells a startled, “Is that <em> Hongjoong hyung?</em>” as he stares off to the other side of the forest. And sure enough, their leader’s bright red hair, contrasting the green scenery around them, glints in the sunlight.</p><p>San gapes at the tiny figure walking closer to them. “Holy shit,” he breathes.</p><p>From behind him, Wooyoung says, “Dude, we need to tell Seonghwa hyung! He’s going to cry so fucking hard and I need to see that right now so I can laugh.”</p><p>Yunho fondly slaps the smaller boy upside the head, and Wooyoung squeaks. “Don’t be so sure.”</p><p>Of course, Wooyoung’s right—Seonghwa cries, and he cries <em> hard </em> as he wraps Hongjoong up in his arms and squeezes so tightly San’s surprised Hongjoong can even breathe in his hold. “You idiot,” he murmurs hoarsely into Hongjoong’s hair. “You fool. Where were you?”</p><p>“I’ll tell you about it later,” Hongjoong whispers. “I’m sorry. I got sidetracked.”</p><p>“No shit,” Seonghwa says dryly. Hongjoong laughs and throws his arms around Seonghwa’s neck, dragging him into a slow, soft kiss. The kids gag and Wooyoung and Mingi wrinkle their noses, and Hongjoong glares at them when he pulls away.</p><p>Of course, news had traveled quickly of San asking Yeosang to stay with him for the rest of his life. Earlier that morning, Wooyoung had almost broken their door down asking about it, claiming he'd heard from Yunho, who heard it from Gyuri, who heard it from Mingi, who, of course, had been there when San asked for advice. “You guys are getting fucking <em> married?</em>” He'd nearly shrieked, causing a flock of birds on a nearby tree to startle and fly away. San blinked at him blearily, still trying to wake up.</p><p>“Um,” he slurred. “I guess we are?”</p><p>“What the—” Wooyoung started, nearly squawking with shock.</p><p>“Wooyoungie,” Yeosang started from the bed. “Shut the fuck up and either come in for breakfast, or go home.”</p><p>Needless to say their younger friend was shocked, as was most of their other friends, but—“I mean, I kind of assumed it was going to happen at some point,” Yunho had said after coming to pick Wooyoung up. “You two are good for each other.”</p><p>“Thank you, Yunho, seriously,” San said sweetly, leaning in to give his friend a hug. “Hey, you know another pair of people good for each other?”</p><p>“Who?” Yunho said, looking confused before his eyes widened as he realized what San was insinuating, and then he shook his head. “Don't you dare say it,” he hissed. “Don't you dare—”</p><p>“You and Wooyoung!” San said cheerfully, and Yunho groaned, ears darkening. Wooyoung was out of earshot, but that didn't stop Yunho from pinching his cheek with more force than necessary in retaliation.</p><p>It’s a bright, healthy spring morning now. It rained the night prior, staining Minseo’s feet with grass and mud as she skids over to a halt in front of San and Yeosang later. “Jisun unnie says you guys are getting married,” she informs them. Her frown is almost accusing.</p><p>San grins. “Yeah, we are.”</p><p>Minseo scowls harder, and San’s almost about to be worried when she says, “why didn’t you guys tell me?”</p><p>Yeosang has to visibly stifle a laugh, flattening his lips into a line when she pouts. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he says sincerely, kneeling to meet her eyes and pulling her into a hug. For a moment Minseo stubbornly stands there before she gives in and hugs him back. “We'll keep you more posted on things from now on, okay? Also, you need to start actually spending more time at our place.”</p><p>“You better,” Minseo mutters, but she hugs him tighter anyway. “And I will!”</p><p>When Hongjoong hears of what’s been happening in the village since his disappearance—Jongho’s injury, the new school, the wedding happening in just a few hours—his singular response is to gape and say, “What the fuck?”</p><p>“Don’t curse in front of the children, Joong,” Seonghwa scolds as he carries Sihyun in his arms, but San can tell he’s not really annoyed. Looking between the two of them, San sees so much love and adoration that he can’t tell if he wants to be sick or embody that energy for himself.</p><p>But—when Yeosang flicks his cheek, dragging San off to the mini school to watch him teach the kids about medicine, he thinks he can tell. </p><p>What's nerve-wracking is that Seonghwa refuses to let them near the clearing where the pseudo-wedding—as Yeosang artfully decided to dub it, since marriage isn't exactly an official thing anymore—is set to happen. They're allowed in Jisun's house, which has been remodeled to fit more people in there, but Jisun's house is on the outskirts of their small village and is blocked off by a grove of trees, and every time San tries to sneak out and look, a kid catches his attention or screams that he isn't supposed to, and Yeosang orders him back inside.</p><p>He enjoys watching Yeosang teach, though. It's sweet, how he jokes around with the kids with his dry humor, occasionally treading too far into the sarcastic territory until the kids no longer understand his point and he has to re-explain things to them. The herbs he shows them are in small amounts, and he passes around the mint for them to sniff at, muttering a soft “I <em> really </em> hope none of you are allergic to this,” under his breath, which makes San laugh.</p><p>Afterwards, they catch up with a tired, but happy looking Hongjoong, who congratulates them properly. “Look at you two,” he teases. “I leave you guys for <em> one </em> second and you're proposing to each other, huh?”</p><p>“Oops,” Yeosang says impishly, and Hongjoong laughs hard.</p><p>“Are you going to tell us where you were?” San asks curiously. They've explored the island far enough, and stayed near the beach when they'd first arrived by makeshift boat, but he's still curious to know just what Hongjoong found and why it took him so damn long to reappear.</p><p>The older boy grins. “There are new people here.”</p><p>San squints, a jolt of nervousness going through him. “Is that... is that a good thing?”</p><p>Hongjoong shrugs. “It isn't a <em> bad </em> thing to me, unless we're talking about resources—but we've been doing well so far, so I'm not too worried. I spent a little time with them. All of them are young, no one older than Jisun, maybe, and they all operate similarly with us. I think... it's a new beginning of sorts, almost, now that the island is repopulating itself. Either way, I'm here for it.”</p><p>Yeosang cocks his head to the side confusedly. “So you're not worried at all? And you just—spent time with them and lost track of how long you were gone?”</p><p>Hongjoong scoffs. “No, I knew how long I was away, for the most part. But Seonghwa would've known if something happened to me, which I took as solace. And if something <em> did </em> happen to me he'd search the earth through hell and back to find out whoever did it.”</p><p>That's... a lot of faith to have in one person, San thinks. But at the same time, it's Seonghwa and Hongjoong—the two most loyal people San has ever met in his entire life. They aren't just loyal to each other too, because they've loved and cared for the people in their village for years now, unconditionally.</p><p>He wants to be sappy and tell the older boy he's thankful for how much he's helped, but he knows that would get him a grimace and Hongjoong waving him off. He's never been as good at taking compliments or affections as Seonghwa is (a flaw Seonghwa loves to use to his advantage to fluster Hongjoong as much as he can, of course).</p><p>God, he's thankful Hongjoong is back.</p><p>“Marriage stuff is happening!” Mingi says excitedly as he wraps San up in a hug after lunch before doing the same to Yeosang. Jongho wheels up behind them and gives them a sweet smile as he waves. “This is so sick. It's <em> finally </em> happening, I wish Jongho let me place bets on who proposed first—actually, how did it go, anyway?”</p><p>Yeosang jerks a thumb at San. “It went well. He couldn't get half of his words out properly, though,” he says with a fond grin, and Mingi guffaws as San pouts.</p><p>“I'm surprised you asked him so soon after I gave it to you,” Jongho points out thoughtfully, raising an eyebrow once Mingi and Yeosang are out of earshot, catching up with each other cheerfully. “You know, I expected you to wait on it. Or, like, sit around and spend way too much time trying to pick which one you thought would match him best. You've always been indecisive.”</p><p>San scowls at the obvious jab, and Jongho laughs at the look on his face. “I'm still older than you, brat,” he points out, before he pauses. “I guess I knew I was going to be indecisive if I waited any longer, though, you know? And it wasn't that bad. I mean, I totally fucking embarrassed myself in front of him, but it was worth it.”</p><p>“I doubt he cares. Yeosang isn't like that,” Jongho adds. Then he shrugs. “I mean, he said yes to you. He's <em> gotta </em> have low standards to do that.”</p><p>San squawks indignantly. “Hey, what the fuck!”</p><p>“San,” Seonghwa says tiredly from behind him, “Please don't swear in front of the kids.”</p><p>San whirls around to see Seonghwa with Yerin tugging at his sleeve. “Seonghwa oppa, what does <em>fuck</em> mean?” Yerin asks innocently</p><p>“<em>Yerin</em>,” Seonghwa hisses, glaring up at San for good measure as Jongho stifles a chuckle. “Never say that again, please. Go play with Minjoo now.”</p><p>“Okay!” The young girl says cheerfully. Once she's several steps back from Seonghwa, she grins mischievously and says, “Minjoo, come over here! I have a new word to teach you!”</p><p>“Oh, for the love of—” Seonghwa breaks off, pinching the bridge of his nose, but he's holding back an obvious smile. “Do you see what I mean now, San?”</p><p>“I didn't even know you were there!” San protests with a pout. “Also, it's Jongho's fault. He needs to stop disrespecting me.”</p><p>“Hyung, I was the catalyst to your marriage,” Jongho says dryly. “I think I'm allowed some general liberties.”</p><p>“Stop fake-arguing, you two,” Seonghwa says, his tone laced with amusement. “San, you should be a bit more mature on your wedding day.”</p><p>“Exactly,” Jongho says, sounding smug as he crosses his arms.</p><p>“If you didn't already have a broken leg I would break your arm right now,” San says darkly, and Jongho gasps.</p><p>“Hyung!”</p><p>“Guys,” Seonghwa laughs. “Relax. I know spirits are high, so I'd really love it if Jongho could keep his arm intact and in good shape, please. San, Jisun and Gyuri would like to see you for your... fitting.”</p><p>“For my fitting?” San says incredulously. “What, is this going to be some official wedding ceremony thing?”</p><p>“I have no idea what they meant by <em> fitting</em>,” Seonghwa says apologetically. “But I advise you head over to Gyuri's home as soon as you can. They'll be asking for Yeosang a little later. But please, tell me what they mean by it later.”</p><p>“You're kidding me,” is what San says once Gyuri and Jisun are done with him. “Guys, it's not that serious!”</p><p>They have him stand in front of a mirror, examining him carefully as he flushes and stares. He's wearing a white silk shirt and tan pants that somehow manage to fit him perfectly—and he has no idea where the hell they found clothes like this. He's also wearing what he's pretty sure is supposed to be makeup, though—</p><p>“These are from natural resources,” Gyuri explains as she touches up the red stuff on his lips. “And don't worry, no plants were harmed in the making of this.”</p><p>“I just don't think this is necessary,” San says weakly as Jisun gives him a shining golden ring. The intertwining of the emerald jewel that sits upon small, soft petals is so beautifully intricate that he almost wants to push it away in fear of breaking it. “<em>How</em> on earth did you guys come up with all of this so soon, anyway? I proposed to him last night.”</p><p>“Oh, you know,” Jisun says cryptically. “Gyuri and I are planners, you know.”</p><p>It takes a moment for it to click in San's head, but when it does, he turns to the older girl with narrowed eyes. “Please tell me you didn't plan Yeosang and I getting <em>married</em>, noona.”</p><p>Gyuri laughs from behind them, and Jisun scoffs. “Of course not!” She denies. “But we <em>did</em> expect something good to happen.”</p><p>“I felt it in the trees,” Gyuri says wisely, and San has no idea what she means by that. The two older women have always been... unnaturally wise, in the same way Seonghwa and Hongjoong are. San decides not to comment, though he does give them both a thankful hug as they usher him out and tell him where to go.</p><p>“You aren't allowed to lay eyes on Yeosang until everything's ready,” Jisun warns, rolling her eyes when San pouts at that. “Don't be such a big baby. You can live without your lover for more than three seconds at a time, San.”</p><p>“You can't seem to live without <em>your</em> lover,” San mutters under his breath, and Jisun slaps him upside the head.</p><p>Silly antics aside, though, it goes well. Extremely well, actually, if one ignores the way San bursts into tears the second he sees Yeosang dressed in navy and white, his hair styled and eyes glittering. He has the same weird makeup San does, though he looks so beautiful that San can't stop admiring him.</p><p>“I wanted this to be a traditional Korean wedding,” Seonghwa addresses them all, hushing the kids. “You know, back when things were normal. Obviously, this was on short notice, and we were... well, <em>distracted</em>,” he says, glancing briefly at Hongjoong, who simply shrugs. “So I feel apologetic, especially towards San and Yeosang here.”</p><p>“It's okay, hyung,” San says from where he stands next to Hongjoong. “I'm surprised we even went to these lengths just for this.”</p><p>Yeosang has to stifle a laugh as Seonghwa glares at him, looking a bit offended. “<em>Just for this?</em>” He asks, raising an eyebrow. “We're all glad to do so. It's a cheerful moment for everyone.”</p><p>Seonghwa is their unofficial officiant, letting them slide the rings on each other. The wreath San had used to propose is in Hongjoong's hands now, and he settles it on top of Yeosang's head meticulously before patting his cheek.</p><p>Seonghwa has another one for San. It's red and pink—“The traditional colors of love and passion, obviously,” he explains.</p><p>When San leans into Yeosang to kiss him softly, they all clap. Seonghwa, predictably enough, has tears in his eyes again, and San isn't shocked to see Yunho crying too as he wraps San up in a too-tight hug afterwards. Mingi isn't crying, but he's overjoyed to see Jongho swiping at his eyes. “Stop laughing at me,” he whines as his husband doubles over with laughter. “You know I'm not good at this!”</p><p>“I know this, and I love you,” Mingi says jokingly, and Jongho slaps his arm with much more force than necessary.</p><p>Then they dance and eat, taking turns to sing. When night begins to fall, Hongjoong and Gyuri set the fire up, and Jisun and Jongho bake together. The kids play among each other, Wooyoung and Yunho taking it upon themselves to urge kids away when they occasionally stray too close to the water. San watches along with Yeosang fondly, pulling his new husband in close.</p><p>“I've decided,” Yeosang says thoughtfully, “That they're all a bunch of idiots. And unfortunately, I love them way too much.”</p><p>“I'm pretty sure they never went to such lengths for Jongho and Mingi,” San jokes. “I guess we're just special?”</p><p>“Please,” Yeosang laughs as he turns to press his lips to San's cheek, and San feels his heart flutter in his chest. “I guess we are.”</p><p>This is Seonghwa's way of rebuilding—making things official like this, to which San is eternally grateful. Realistically, there's no need for the festivity, but... his spirits feel lifted and and he's got a ring on his hand now, so he isn't complaining.</p><p>“We should head back,” San says. “They'll have some more fun out here, but I want to spend time with you.”</p><p>Yeosang faces him, raising an eyebrow. “You want a night of <em>passionate love-making</em>, you mean.”</p><p>San can't help it—he throws his head back and laughs at his bluntness, and Yeosang grins. “Okay, you're right.”</p><p>“Shouldn't we bring Minseo?” Yeosang inquires. “I feel like she's been staying more with Yunho than us since we took her in.”</p><p>As if on cue, Yunho looks up at them and then waves them off, and Yeosang sighs. “... Fine, I guess.”</p><p>They get joking jeers from the rest of their group when San starts pulling him away and back down to their little home. “Don't break each other!” Hongjoong calls out, and San snickers while Yeosang huffs in annoyance. One look from over his shoulder shows Seonghwa scolding Hongjoong, hitting him on the shoulder lightly, so San isn't too bothered either way.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yeosang wakes him up with his lips pressing kisses down his jaw.</p><p>His slow drag out of sleep is aided by the morning sun shining straight through the window and into his eyes. He shifts down the pillow with a wince, making Yeosang’s lips bump into his nose as he buries his face in his lover’s neck. Yeosang’s small chuckle of amusement vibrates through him pleasantly before he presses a sweet kiss to San’s forehead.</p><p>“Good morning,” Yeosang murmurs, a smile clear in his tone. San responds by burrowing further into him and Yeosang giggles. “Cutie.”</p><p>That sends a wave of warmth through him. His body feels heavy from well-rested sleep as he throws an arm around Yeosang’s waist, and his brain isn’t quite working yet, but he feels safe and comfortable.</p><p>He hasn’t had nightmares plague him for over a week now—he’s been keeping track. The solid warmth of the love of his life and the ensured safety of living here gives him this, which he’s eternally grateful for.</p><p>Yeosang indulges in him for what feels like an hour but is probably just a few more minutes. Then he kisses San’s forehead and says, “We need to be up soon.” San groans. Yeosang huffs in amusement. “I’ll make you breakfast?”</p><p>San doesn’t give a response again, and Yeosang swats the back of his head lightly. “Silly,” he murmurs fondly. “Will you at least look at me, sweetheart?”</p><p>He ends up having to tug San away by tangling his fingers in his hair and pulling. San stubbornly keeps his eyes shut even though he does kind of want to look at Yeosang—his husband now, he remembers. The person he knows he’s going to be with for the rest of his life.</p><p>Aforementioned husband lets out a long-suffering sigh when San doesn’t make a move. “You’re too much,” he mutters, before clearing his throat. “I guess I’ll just have to wake you up, then.”</p><p>At this, San lets his lips twist up into a pleased smirk, and Yeosang laughs before he leans in to kiss it away.</p><p>It’s warm and slow—and also mostly Yeosang doing the work, admittedly, though he doesn’t seem to mind as he curls his fingers through San’s hair soothingly and takes his sweet time turning him into a pliant mess against the sheets. The arousal deep in his gut has been stirring interestedly since he woke up and quickly turns into a simmering flame as Yeosang licks into his mouth. San wants to say<em> morning breath, seriously?</em>, but for once Yeosang doesn’t seem to care, which is… also weirdly hot, and San’s mind goes blank after a few moments anyway as Yeosang just takes over and half-pins San to the bed as he sucks on his tongue.</p><p>“You’re always making noise,” he murmurs when he pulls away for a moment after sucking on his bottom lip. San hadn’t even realized he’d been whimpering into Yeosang’s mouth until he pulled away to breathe, drool already pooling at the corner of his mouth. He blushes.</p><p>“Sorry…?”</p><p>“No,” Yeosang says firmly. “Never apologize, sweetheart. You always sound so pretty.”</p><p>Okay, so this is just how they’re going to do it this morning. San preens and blushes harder, resisting the urge to cover his face with his hands, and Yeosang flat-out laughs at him before he’s leaning in to press his lips to San’s jaw again and San’s hands immediately fly up to Yeosang’s hair.</p><p>“Can I ride you?” Yeosang asks quietly, whispering the words into the crook of San's neck, and he groans.</p><p>“Absolutely,” he replies. “I'd like that.”</p><p>Yeosang snorts quietly. “Of course you would.”</p><p>San pouts, but Yeosang pays it no mind as he starts kissing down his chest, bringing his thumb up to brush over a nipple, and San sighs at the pleasant tingles it sends down his spine. Yeosang loves to take him apart slowly like this, looking up at him with hooded, dark eyes that somehow sparkle in the sunlight. He's glowing like the sun is feeding him itself, and San can't tear his eyes away as his lover kisses the jut of his hipbone before he pats San's thighs, encouraging him to spread them apart.</p><p>“You're so, so pretty, San,” Yeosang breathes, and San miserably fails at willing away his blush. “Look at you. I can't believe I have this all to myself.”</p><p>“Don't just say stuff like that,” San complains, and Yeosang huffs out a laugh before he's reaching out with a hand and wrapping his fingers loosely around his morning wood, tugging upwards as he watches San sigh and relax back into the sheets. “Why are you so slow?”</p><p>“Are you kidding me?” Yeosang laughs. “We've just started. Let me enjoy a slow morning before we have to pick Minseo up and make breakfast.”</p><p>San's about to retort petulantly, but Yeosang distracts him with his mouth, leaning down to kiss the tip of his cock before his tongue darts out to lick at his head.</p><p>His eyes flutter shut as he takes his time licking down the length of his cock after that, and San is mesmerized. there's no haste to his movements, in the way he sucks the head of San's cock into his mouth and suckles softly, leaving San to melt under the pleasure Yeosang gives him.</p><p>Yeosang sucks a little harder and then begins taking him down further, stopping at a certain point and just staying there, effectively cockwarming him with his mouth for a few moments. San makes a low noise, running his hands through Yeosang's hair as he murmurs, “You're so gorgeous. I wish you could see yourself, Yeosangie.”</p><p>He takes a few seconds to reply, blinking slowly as he licks sloppily at the underside of San's cock, clearly enjoying the weight of him fully hardening in his mouth before he slips off and bites his already spit-slick lips.</p><p>“Always complimenting me,” Yeosang says with an impish smile. He rests his head on San's thigh as he continues slowly jerking him off, and the way he stares at him makes him feel as though he's on fire, like he's the center of the world and Yeosang—</p><p>Isn't <em>orbiting</em> him quite, but he's definitely enjoying the view. San's cock twitches in Yeosang's hand, and his lover poorly conceals a smile. “You should see how beautiful you look spread out across the sheets like this, Sannie.”</p><p>San feels himeslf blush again and groans, throwing an arm over his eyes. Yeosang isn't the type to consistently praise people—to which San is silently grateful for, because if Yeosang exploited his not-so-obvious praise kink San is sure he would die out of sheer mortification. But when they're in bed together like this, the kind, teasing words slip out of Yeosang's mouth far too easily, like a second language, leaving San a flustered mess every single time.</p><p>“Okay,” Yeosang murmurs after a moment. “Here, let me open myself up. Give me the oil?”</p><p>“What happened to enjoying a <em>slow morning</em>, hm?” San teases even as he hands him the bottle, and Yeosang rolls his eyes. “Can I finger you?”</p><p>“Mm, no,” Yeosang says after a moment, popping the cap open and tipping it over his hands. “Why don't you just watch? But don't touch.”</p><p>“You're such a bitch,” San mutters under his breath. He gets a slap to his thigh from Yeosang's clean hand in retaliation, and he laughs.</p><p>The look in Yeosang's eyes is soft and kind even as he adjusts himself until he's on top of San, straddling his hips and lifting himself up to reach a hand behind him. He takes his time fingering himself open, keeping eye contact with San until he can't anymore, dropping his head as he rocks himself back on his fingers after a few minutes. He looks gorgeous like this, and San curses the fact that he can't bring his hands up to his waist, cradling him in his arms.</p><p>Yeosang lets out a little whimper and San's cock twitches. It catches Yeosang's interest as he reaches out with the hand balancing himself on San's chest and runs his pointer finger lightly over the prominent vein, and San makes a choked noise. “You love watching me, don't you?” He says quietly.</p><p>Mouth still loose from sleep, San says, “I wanna touch you, you're—you're so beautiful.”</p><p>“You will have me,” Yeosang says gently, “but be patient.”</p><p>By <em>patient</em>, Yeosang means several more minutes of quiet, save for the slick sounds from Yeosang's fingers and their labored breathing. By now, Yeosang's most definitely just making this harder than it needs to be—San <em>knows</em> he's still loose from last night, when San had been the one pressing him down and fucking into him until his husband was crying and tangling their fingers together, coming untouched. Now he lets his mouth fall open, licking his lips as he makes a soft noise.</p><p>“You look so needy,” Yeosang teases, before he pulls his fingers out. “Okay, I'll take mercy on you.”</p><p>“Thank the fucking stars,” San mutters under his breath. Truthfully, he knows he's probably blushing down to his collarbones with how hot he feels, turned inside out for Yeosang to see every part of him. </p><p>Yeosang laughs, a lovely high-pitched sound that makes San smile despite himself. Yeosang grabs the lube again, dribbling the cold liquid over San's cock just to watch him flinch away from the contact and glare at his husband. Then he's slicking him up, the feeling amplified by how wet and <em>warm</em> his hand is. He wipes the excess off his hands on the sheets next to them, ignoring the noise of disgust San makes. “I'm about to let you come in me,” he reminds him. “Let me be messy.”</p><p>San smiles widely at the prospect and Yeosang laughs again as he grabs the base of San's dick and lines himself up. Then he's saying, “Stay still for me?”</p><p>“Of course,” San murmurs. “Take your time.”</p><p>“Mm.” Yeosang hums, and then he's sinking down slowly, slowly. It feels like molten heat rolling over San's skin, turning him into putty like this is the first time they're having sex again, like the world is falling apart as if it hasn't already ended. Yeosang takes his time indeed, rocking down on the head of his cock with his tongue sticking out of his mouth cutely, and then he's sliding down in little shifts of his hips. The feeling is lovely, but the sight is gorgeous—San's dick twitches again and Yeosang snorts.</p><p>When he bottoms out, they both moan. “I swear,” Yeosang mumbles, “you fill me up so well every single time.”</p><p>San's only response is a groan, to which Yeosang leans down and presses their mouths together in a sweet kiss before he sits up again and settles his hands on San's chest, lifting himself up and then back down in small increments until he's able to find a rhythm and go with it.</p><p>It's decidedly slow, but San doesn't mind—it's early morning, after all. They're both caught up in the blissful cocoon of the early morning sun spilling out across their bodies, warming their skin as Yeosang takes his time pulling them both apart. And anyway, San knows they're both going to come too soon, if the way Yeosang whines and begins bouncing harder is any indication.</p><p>His fingertips ache with the need to put his hands on Yeosang. His hands fist the sheets, desperately trying to be <em>good</em> for Yeosang in the same way Yeosang is always, always good for him, but his lover must notice, because he says, “You can touch me, sweetheart.”</p><p>San's hands immediately fly up to his waist, helping guide him as he tilts his head back and lets himself succumb to the feeling. And then it's a blur after that—Yeosang whines as San moans, and San brings a hand down to his cock to jerk him off quickly. Yeosang's legs tighten around his hips and he curls in on himself, mouthing up the line of San's jaw, and San tightens the grip on his waist to fuck up into him. Yeosang pushes his other hand away and pants, “I love you,” against his mouth, and San falls apart. </p><p>“'M gonna come,” he whispers. “I love you too, Yeosang, so much. You're so good to me.”</p><p>“Look at you,” Yeosang whimphers. “So beautiful. You can come in me, Sannie, I want you to—”</p><p>San holds Yeosang's hips down flush against his, buried deep inside his lover as he comes with a little whines and harsh breaths, vision going fuzzy. He feels come streaking out against his chest and knows Yeosang's let go too, their orgasms shaking through both of them until it fades and they're left with nothing but warmth and exhaustion.</p><p>Yeosang slips himself off his cock after a few moments of them panting into each other's mouths, reaching up to cup his face in a kiss, and San sighs. His entire body feels heavy but he lets Yeosang relax into the bed, getting up on shaky legs to wet a towel and open the window. When he comes back, Yeosang's grimacing, and San watches with interesting as his come leaks out of his hole.</p><p>“Shouldn't have let you do that,” Yeosang mutters bitterly, though he lets San wipe him down.</p><p>San lets himself laugh. “Oh, I'm glad you did. I don't think I'll ever get tired of the sight.”</p><p>“Insatiable,” Yeosang says wearily, making grabby hands at San once he sets the rag off to the side after he cleans himself. “C'mere. We'll make breakfast in a few.”</p><p>And San—he is so, unbearably in love. <em>Love</em> is something he thought was impossible once he was forced to leave the safe confines of his family and a normal life, but he has it now, he thinks, looking down at Yeosang, who blinks up at him lazily, a gleam of something knowing in his eyes. Everything—his family, his love, everything he has worked for—it's right here. It's all around him. He's been doing it all for love, in the end.</p><p>The sun shines down on Yeosang, turning the planes of his torso and his brown eyes into a liquid, glowing amber as he drifts into a half-sleep, eyes slowly shutting. Sweat cools between them and forces San to rely on Yeosang’s body heat as trees rustle in the wind. Outside, San hears a young girl’s voice, singing high and clear through the window… <em> come in the garden… and sit on the grass… I used to sit there, when I was a child…  </em></p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i wanted this to be relatively short, yet here we are... never predict word counts before writing, friends.</p><p>either way, comments and kudos are always, always appreciated—especially comments! TT they keep me going and even more so here because i've been iffy on this fic in the entire month it took to write it... so let me know how it made you feel, if you listened to the songs while reading, etc! and thank you for making it this far.</p><p>and hmu to chat on <a href="https://twitter.com/magic__isiand">twitter</a> or <a href="https://curiouscat.me/arieshwa">curiouscat</a>. twitter is where i tweet my aus into the void and overshare on my wips lmao (i'm always on priv but requests to follow are okay, and if you just want to dm me that's fine too!).</p></blockquote></div></div>
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